Growing Up Gothic with Seth Hartman

Sibling relationships are as complex as they are beautiful. Growing up together often means navigating a mix of love, rivalry, and countless memories that stick with us. In the latest episode of The Gothic Heart, my brother Seth (affectionately called “Greasy Q-Tip”) joined me to take a trip down memory lane. From MTV bans to embracing our contrasting tastes and personalities, it was a candid and hilarious reminder of how far we've come.

Sibling Dynamics: Growing Up Together

Seth and I had the classic sibling experience—filled with mischief, misunderstandings, and, of course, memorable moments that made us who we are. Our childhood was marked by silly clashes, like the time he gleefully tattled on me for watching a Madonna video on MTV (yes, a bra was involved), leading to my banishment from the channel. To him, it was a funny victory; to me, it was a defining moment of sibling betrayal, and one we can laugh about now. But beyond the petty rivalries, we shared countless moments of bonding, even if it didn’t always look like it back then.

We were different in many ways. He loved being outdoors, exploring and traveling, while I preferred staying inside with a good book or working on gothic DIY projects. But as we’ve grown, we’ve come to appreciate these differences for what they are—expressions of who we are as individuals.

Contrasting Interests: Music and Hobbies

One of the most entertaining aspects of growing up together was how much Seth and I clashed over music. While I was fully immersed in grunge, alternative, and goth sounds—think Nirvana, Gravity Kills, and Korn—Seth had a more eclectic taste that avoided whatever I liked purely out of principle (sibling DNA, he says). He shared how he’s never heard any of my beloved bands being played by his high school students, but he still remembers me dragging him to a Gravity Kills concert in San Francisco. He didn’t want to go, but I needed a “chaperone.” And even if it wasn’t his favorite, it’s one of those shared experiences that bonds us now. Music might have been a clash point back then, but it’s a hilarious memory today.

Beyond music, we were polar opposites in hobbies too—me with my goth flair and him embracing a sun-filled, outdoorsy lifestyle. Yet, these differences have always kept things interesting. Growing up with such contrasting interests often led to arguments, but it also led to an appreciation for the beauty of individuality.

Embracing Individuality: Acceptance Over Time

Reflecting on our journey, it’s clear how time has softened our edges and made us more accepting of one another. When we were younger, anything goth or alternative wasn’t exactly embraced or even understood by family or society, let alone Seth. But life has a funny way of changing things. We’ve both come to respect and even celebrate each other’s unique styles and passions. The ultimate symbol of this transformation? Seth officiating my Halloween wedding as Dracula, complete with cape and a theatrical exit (tripping over said cape included). What started as a path filled with bumps and differences has become a testament to growth, acceptance, and love.

It’s incredible to see how our perspectives have changed. Seth shared stories about teaching students with alternative fashion senses, proudly showing them my designs and clothing line, while I reflected on how we all grow into our true selves over time. Acceptance, for us, wasn’t immediate—but it was worth the journey.

Celebrating Unique Weddings: A Gothic Affair

No journey through our sibling bond would be complete without recounting one of our most iconic moments—my Halloween wedding on the Queen Mary. Seth’s role as Dracula and the full costume-clad guests made it a celebration of everything I’ve always loved—darkness, whimsy, and unapologetic individuality. This event was a pinnacle of acceptance and celebration in our relationship, from our parents dressing up to Seth and his wife joining in the green screen photoshoot fun. What was once considered “weird” was now something we all took pride in.

Our journey from childhood arguments to this full-on embrace of what makes us unique is proof that family relationships can evolve beautifully over time. Our differences are now cherished, and our shared memories are treasured stories that we continue to tell.

Closing Thoughts: Embracing Differences

If I’ve learned anything from my bond with Seth, it’s that there is magic in embracing what makes us different. Growing up together wasn’t always easy, but it shaped us in ways we couldn’t predict. Whether it’s clashing over music or cheering each other on in adulthood, our journey as siblings is one I wouldn’t trade for anything. Life is all about celebrating what makes us unique—and having a brother like Seth makes every step of the journey even more memorable.